


Celery Sticks and Tricorn Hats

by schwertlilie



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Background Poly, Crack, Double Drabble, Inappropriate use of foodstuffs, Other, mochi sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-02-08
Updated: 2013-02-08
Packaged: 2017-11-28 14:01:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/675197
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/schwertlilie/pseuds/schwertlilie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Matthews and Alfreds walk in on their mochis doing kinky pirate roleplay on the kitchen floor. Completely, entirely crack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Celery Sticks and Tricorn Hats

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lightinthehall](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lightinthehall/gifts).



> Matthew = 1p Canada  
> Matt = 2p Canada  
> Alfred = 1p USA  
> Al = 2p USA  
> Based on [spacedrunk](http://spacedrunk.tumblr.com/)/[retrobeefcake](http://retrobeefcake.tumblr.com/)'s 2p designs. :) Originally posted to tumblr.

Matthew awkwardly cleared his throat. "Are they doing what I think...?"  
  
"You bet your bottom dollar, sweet cheeks." Al tilted his head at the group of mochi on the kitchen floor. "Can't say I've seen celery used for _that_ before."  
  
Matthew felt a blush rise in his cheeks when Alfred stopped at the other doorway to the kitchen and froze, which was ridiculous because there was nothing to be embarrassed for about watching your pets play on the tile.  
  
(Except that the mini-him was fluttering his flags and squeaking, and the mini-Al was starting to look blissed out from the, the _caning_ mini-Alfred was giving it against the leg of the stool.)  
  
Al looked up at his counterpart. "Never knew you could handle a rod that well. Wanna go for real?"  
  
"I- _That's not me,_ " Alfred said. "How is he even holding that, he has no hands...."  
  
"That's not a no," Al said with a grin. "C'mon over here, I've got a belt you can use."  
  
"No. No no no-" Alfred paused. "Oh my God is mochi-Matt wearing an eye patch?"  
  
Matthew pointed at the floor. "Looks like the Alfreds were wearing tricorns, except they're a little," he swallowed, "wet."  
  
Al craned his neck. "I only see one."  
  
"Mochi.. _me_ is rocking on it."  
  
"Huh." Of course, of _course_ Matt would pick this time to show up, to rest his chin on Alfred's shoulder. "Looks like they're having fun."  
  
Alfred snorted. "You're just saying that because your mochi is crooning sweet nothings into Matthew's ear, not wailing on another one with a celery stick."  
  
"Judging by the way Matthew's mochi is reacting, they're not 'nothings.'" Matt pointed at the pair off to the side, their eyes fixed on the two Alfred-mochis, and Matthew wanted to sink through the floor. "He wants to go over there, but mine won't let him."  
  
"With what ropes?" Al said.  
  
Matt gave him a look.  
  
"Wait, you mean Matthew's is all subby to yours? That's adorable, considering how often you take it up the ass from him."  
  
Matt detached himself from Alfred (who had quietly begun to cling) and crossed the kitchen, stepping carefully over the mochis as he went. He stopped right in front of Al. "And what does that make you, with your mochi getting beaten mushy by Alfred's?"  
  
Al smirked, nipped Matt's lower lip. "Fucking a."


End file.
